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We're so screwed
Off to work, busy day. Things we don't have: a carved pumpkin, an uncarved pumpkin, any costumes for our just-the-right-age-for-trick-or-treating children, or any chocolate.

And there were a lot of ominous egg-like thuds outside last night so I suspect we're the latest victims of the exciting new trend in juvenile delinquency, imported (no expense spared) from America.

At least I have an icon, from my two-or-three years ago pumpkin.

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Last year, ASDA banned teenagers from buying eggs ( http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/3750690.stm )

This year, however, you can buy packs of "Halloween Fun" eggs at that very same store: http://iccheshireonline.icnetwork.co.uk/0100news/0100regionalnews/tm_objectid=16290486&method=full&siteid=50020&headline=asda-accused-of--egging--pranksters-on--name_page.html

Apparently this is part of a nationwide promotion of eggs as a reaction to falling sales, especially following Bird Flu scares, and is supported by this website: http://www.eggs4fun.com/

"Derby-based New Media solution provider Fish Media has produced a cracking interactive micro-site for Deans Foods, the UK’s leading egg processing company.

Eggs4fun.com is an educational and fun website aimed at children that will be seasonally branded and include games, drawings and downloads, egg based food recipes, facts about eggs and jokes.

The launch version is based around a Halloween theme and is hosted by a Witch that guides users through the various sections of the website. The Witch also plays the main character in the game where players must safely guide him through the egg cave and collect Halloween goodies. Children also have the option to enter a competition where they could win a magic show for their school from the internationally renowned magicians; Marvin’s Magic.

The website will be promoted on specially designed egg packs that will be sold in ASDA stores throughout the UK from 25th September."

My mother scared the trick-or-treaters last night. She asked them, for example, if they would like to come in and witness the Samhain rituals.

She also asked me to do goth makeup on her, my stepfather, and my seven-year-old sister.

I threw some eyeliner at them and went to the pub.

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